Pornography is Ambushing the Family

With the ease of access to pornography, 1 out of 5 men view pornography regularly and approximately 90% of children ages 8 to 16 have seen pornography on the internet. We are doing all that we can to help others with this ambush. 

InnerGold announced that they will be putting on a FREE 2 hour Avoiding, Understanding and Treating Pornography and Sexual Addiction symposium. Everyone is invited!

You can learn more at: http://www.innergold.com/learn

Greatest Challenge: Sexual Addiction

Overcoming sexual addiction is one of the greatest challenges anyone can ever face. Sexual addiction is one of the most confusing disorders to deal with because it strikes at the core of who we are. By nature we sexuality is a necessary positive aspect in all of our lives. If left uncheck and undesciplined it can turn into a very powerful and all-consuming addiction.

Pornography strikes at the heart of our deep seeded emotional centers because one of the highest forms of human intimacy is found in the sexual relationship.

The InnerGold program has taken great care to provide the information and exercises that have been found useful in the treatment of those with pornography and sexual addiction issues.

Pornography/sexual addiction issues have become a major challenge to deal with and one of the leading causes of contemporary mental health problems in this generation, particularly since the internet. Pornography is a well over $57 billion dollar industry and growing daily.

The availability of this material is reaching new levels. Pornographers are aggressively placing their products where they can to get people addicted, even at a young age. Pornographers have gone to several magazine companies and offered large profits to the magazine, if they would use certain photos and articles that stimulate our intimate feelings. Unfortunately, pornographers live and survive under the protection of freedom of speech.

In a recent study shows that looking at porn literally shrinks the brain. Looking at porn changes and skews the way one looks at the world leaving in its wake addiction, depression, confusion, relationship conflicts and objectification of people as sexual objects.

Gaining a better education how pornography affects the brain will better help you. InnerGold gives you the tools and a plan of attack against pornography.

There is hope in overcoming pornography and sexual addiction.

May you find humility, courage, determination and faith to make the changes you desire. There have been many who have struggled with this addiction who are living sober, productive lives.

Really Getting Better From Porn/Sex Addiction

I post frequently to pornography addiciton forums. I commonly respond to individuals coming clean for the first time and admitting they have a problem with porn or sex addiction. Over the past 2 years I have noticed an interesting trend on these forums.

Many who frequently post talk about their addiciton and say they want help but many don't do anything to get help after posting. One man who posts on a forum admitted he had an addiction a year ago. He started posting in order to find "an accountability partner and others" to help him be accountable to his addiciton. He regularly posted and went through more downs than ups. He came back a few months ago and finally admitted he needed something more.

This is a great "DUH" moment for an addict. I went 15 years of my life justifying that I could do it on my own before I finally had my 'DUH" moment. Better late than never. It is the moment realized where one admits they need serious help. All addicts need this help it just takes some a while to get to the point of surrendering to the fact that they CANNOT do it alone. What this man was doing was posting to the forum as a crutch to make him feel that he was "at least" doing something. This crutch was a form of him justifying his acting out. He would post to make him feel like he was doing something.

The point is to get help and not delay. There have been amazing inroads in recovery and it is very possible. We simply have to take action. Getting better is a process and does not happen overnight but it can happen. So the question is...Do you really want to get better from this addiciton or are you just trying to put band aids on it to make yourself feel better?

Understanding Leads to Healing

recently i was reading a blog about someone seeking help for for their porn addiction. i want to let everyone know, before you can become or start the healing, you must understand what is going on with your brain. you must realize why your brain reacts the way it does. you must also take the steps to give your brain the strength it needs. i talk about this on the innergold website:

You can learn more on the InnerGold site about this by watching Pornography the Perfect Poison Video presentation.

Porn/Sex Addiction - Attacks Young and Old

The number of people seeking counseling for pornography and sexual addictions is increasing. What about young people? In a forum I participate in, there are various men between 15-19 years old that talk about their addictions but cannot enroll in programs. Some due to money, access to a credit card, or they simply still rely and live on their parents and keep addiciton a secret with them.

This is where the problem generally grows and becomes an all out addiction....when young. Almost every man and woman I have known with sexual addictions of any kind can trace the beginnings back to childhood or youth. Most also relate their addictions to some element of the Internet now days. As parents, we must communicate with our young people. Most youth have seen hard core porn images by the time they are 12 years old. As youth, I recommend simply talking to parents or even a church leader if you are viewing porn or have other sexual addictions.

Waiting to get help is like saying, "Hey, I will wait until I totally destroy my life, then I will get help." Sadly, that is what most addicts do. They justify their own control and lie to themselves until they are forced to get help or have hit such a low place that there is nowhere else to go. I was happy to see a story on Fox News online talking about how the FCC is proposing a free wireless internet hub nationwide but the catch is that it will be "No Porn." http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,460247,00.html

My internet porn addiction started off of simple curiousity at first but spread like wildfire. Most start that same way. I hope we can all be aware of the dangers for sexual addictions...young and old. As parents we should communicate with and help our kids understand the dangers. If they are already addicted as a young person...get them involved in a program now while you still have influence over them in the home.

www.innergold.com

Porn and Sex Addiciton - The Energy Suckers

A common similarity with porn and sex addicts whom I have met is the following: Most of them are generally very energetic, creative, and talented individuals. I have met many like myself who are technically savvy and have either a vast technology background and/or amazing entrepreneurial skills. Many would call me ADD becuase I like to work on various projects at the same time as a business owner. Why is this relevant? It is becuase before becomming sober in my addictions I used up a HUGE amount of energy in fulfilling my addictive desires.

I have met quite a few people who have found sobriety in sexual and porn addiciton. Many positive changes hold true across the board but one interesting fact in particular is the following: Recovered porn/sex addicts have learned to channel immense amounts of energy into other things. For me...it is my work and family. Before getting help I would simply go throughout the day running my business. I was successful but when my relapses would occur I would spend days and sometimes weeks finding excuses to be lazy and not focus on business growth. When business got stressful or family life got stressful, I turned to porn.

Once I got counseling I learned that some of the worlds most successful people have addictive tenancies but many have learned to channel that addictive energy to more productivity. One technique I learned to channel my addictive energy was applying a saying: "The pain of regret is far greater than the pain of discipline." Learning to understand the pain of discipline and taking that pain and channeling it, opened up a whole new world. Instead of easily giving in to every addictive trigger and going straight to porn I learned to use that energy in working on business projects and other productive things. Needless to say my current business is more successful and I have 2 other ventures I am working on now.

It's amazing how much time and energy open up when they are not being spent on hours of porn browsing and addictive behaviors. Not to mention...no more secrecy and deception which were huge energy killers. I would encourage any out there who are getting the life and energy sucked out of them from addiciton to get help becuase it is there. I am forever grateful that I did.

Porn/Sex Addiction - Suggestions to Church Leaders

As I went through recovery from porn addiction I realized something about my addictive cycle. I allowed religion to become part of the addictive cycle. It is VITAL that church leaders understand and can identify this behavior. For you addicts out there, maybe there is no religious piece to the cycle, but think about what I am going to explain and see if something besides religion is identified.

My cycle began as a very young man around 13 years old. As soon as I found that porn could bring ejaculation it was like gasoline and fire. I went about 3 years hiding my daily addiciton until it got so bad that I felt like total crap inside. I felt less confident and less about myself. Finally one day I went to a church leader and talked to him about it. He was very kind and told me to not look at porn and masturbate anymore. I left there feeling a weight lifted and like a million bucks! Here is the problem...this church leader didn't give me any real solutions to my addiction. I felt better, but had no solution. After a few weeks I looked at porn and masturbated.... again and again and again, until I hit that dark place and overbearing weight in life once more. I went back to a church leader and the same thing happened. I got a little advise but no real solutions to becomming sober in an addiction. I felt the burden of guilt and secrecy lifted but no long-term solutions.

This cyclical story repeated itself in my life on and off for 15 years . Going to church leaders became part of my addictive cycle. So what can addicts and church leaders do? Addicts can listen to what I have said and instead of using a crutch (like a church leader or a friend we confide in) to justify our continued addictive behavior, we can go get professional help. Church leaders are professional minsters and can provide spiritual counsel but they are, for the most part, not addiction counselors. Church leaders are spiritual advisers and can advise their members with addictions to enroll in a program or get some form of professional counseling. It is this combination of good ecclesiastical form combined with the professional tools porn/sex addiciton counseling can bring that will provide long-term sobriety.

Some church leaders use harsh punishment and disciplinary force on members due to the frustration that addicts are not getting better and the cycle continues. The cycle continues whether discipline happens or not. It is not until healing through proper counseling and re-training the brain takes place that an addict will get better. This is where church leaders can champion encouraging members to go get help. If the addict is totally unwilling, that is when productive forms of discipline may be necessary. Increased problems and further secrecy in addiction come when church leaders punish those who are already penitent and just want help. So the answer is to lead members to seek help, not punish the willing. Those willing to seek help are already their own biggest personal critics and despise their own behaviors.

I went to over 15 church leaders throughout my life. One good leader said the following, "I have no idea how to cure or get you away from this addiction...however, I do know of a great counselor I want you to go to. He can help." That is when I found Innergold 3 years ago and found the answers and pathway toward sobriety. It took 15 YEARS of church leaders to finally have one good man lead me towards real help. I thank that man and encourage all addicts and church leaders to learn from this blog.

Porn/Sex Addiction - Why not Stop?

Having gone through a porn addiction of 15 years I would frequently ask myself, "Why not just stop?" There was a part of me that really wanted this beast out of my life but another part kept the burning cravings alive. It was like there was a piece of me that did not want to let it go. It had become a cyclical part of my life. When time got tough or stressful, I had become accustomed to using porn as a way to cope. I felt like I was living a double life.

When I entered the Innergold counseling system, I was taught that I was normal. Most porn/sex addicts live the double life and feel like they are an anomaly and unlike other people . It isextremely chaotic living the double life. I always felt like I had to hide things and when the guilt and consequences became so bad I would confess to church leaders to get it off my shoulders. It truly was a cycle that kept repeating. The point of this blog is to let any out there struggling know that they are not alone and that millions suffer from this same cycle. The Innergold program set me on a path of understanding and gave me the tools to heal the "double life" I was leading.

I can truly say that finding freedom from porn and getting away from the double life has been refreshing. I have so much more focus and energy channeled where it shoudl be. I am more successful and better educated than ever before. So instead of saying, "Why not stop?"...go get some help and make it happen.

Pornography Addiction - "Need Help"

I was listening to a well known program where individuals call in looking for professional advise. Most of the time the advise is good. One specific person called in with the following problem: He got caught by his wife looking at porn. He had been looking at porn for over 18 months. He said that his wife was frustrated and felt betrayed. He was looking for help. The radio host downplayed the problem with pornography and said there must be something else creating the wife wanting to leave. The caller said that he honestly couldn't think of anything and that it was the porn issue. He told the host that he wanted help and the host again downplayed his porn issue and said that there must be some other reason why the wife would want to leave. The frustrated caller said that he wanted help to stay away from porn and then got cut off due to a break in the show.

As a listener I was going crazy! I couldn't believe that this confused and torn man was being told his porn problem was not the issue. IT WAS THE ISSUE! This man was pleading for help but since porn is viewed as "acceptable" to so many people, he got shut down and more discouraged. He literally started to cry on the air. He wanted help. So many people today are being told that porn is not a problem or addictive. This is a flat out lie! Millions are getting divorced, losing jobs, and destroying themselves and others due to porn and sex addiction. A major problem is that so many people are addicted to porn that they justify their own problems by downplaying it. It is temporarily easier to ignore porn addiction or play like it is not a real issue than facing its destructive nature head on. The crap always hits the fan eventually. ALWAYS! You can justify for only so long until pornography destroys. There is help out there. It is possible to become sober and get away from porn. Instead of justifying, let's start solving the problem and that starts with ourselves.

Porn Addiciton Treatment and Recovery

I was talking to someone today about the Innergold website and how it helps people recover from porn addiction. I talked to them how pornography manipulates the brain and creates sexually addictive behaviors. This person was intrigued and asked me a couple questions: How does the process of becomming addicted to pornography happen? So how does someone get better?

How does the process of becomming addicted to pornography happen?
I explained this by giving an understanding of our instinctive brain (limbic). Pornography effects the same part of the brain that houses the need for food, survival, and pleasure. I explained that constantly looking at pornography is like eating and drinking. Just like we train our bodies and minds to eat and drink for survival, if one looks at pornography habitually it then becomes a survival mechanism as well. Many addicts commit over and over that they will stop. "This time is the last time." Then a few days or weeks later, the need arises and they repeat despite consequences or promises made not to. Hence, the addictive nature of pornography attaches directly to the survival part of the brain. Often when a porn addict is tired, stressed, angry, overly emotional, etc... they feed the need for survival with porn. Many porn addicts although tired, will instead stay up through all hours of the night feeding the need for porn instead of sleep since the high from porn gives a temporary fix to the need for sleep. That is just one example of many.

So how does someone get better from pornography addiction?
Just like becomming a pornography addict is a process, becomming sober is a process as well. Since the addict has trained their brain to have a need for porn as a survival mechanism there is a "repairing" process that must take place. It is not an overnight thing. The addicted brain wants so badly for the addiction to "go away" that excuse after excuse of an easy ways out are justified. Doing something good, confessing, hiding and justifying, or committing to ones self to "never" repeat are common short-term fixes that allow the addict to feel temporarily better. Although some of these temporary fixes are good, they are not the complete answer. The answer is in the process of recovery. One must learn the tools of recovery and put them into place for the long-term. Many of these things are daily activities that if done consistently will foster literal changes to the brain and create healing. The key to maintaining sobriety is using the skills learned in recovery for a lifetime. That doesn't mean hours a day, but doing the daily simple things. This is what Innergold teaches.